JAIL101.COM NEWS ****THIS IS NOT A BOOK EXCERPT****
Two rocket scientists tried to rip off an ATM by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, they pulled the bumper off the truck. They fled the scene and drove home; leaving the chain still attached to the machine, the bumper still attached to the chain, and the vehicle's plate on the bumper.
A propeller head walked into a bank and quietly handed the teller a note demanding several thousand dollars. Unfortunately, he had written the note on a piece of his own stationery; it included his full name and address.
Floridian Mensa member, Karen Lee Joachimi, was arrested for attempted robbery of a Howard Johnson's motel. She was armed with an electric chainsaw, which was not plugged in.
Chicago: A relief softball pitcher was wanted for throwing bricks through jewelry store windows and making off with the loot. He was recently arrested after a brick failed to penetrate plexi-glass, bounced directly back, and knocked him out cold.
An Orange County Mortuary employee was ticketed for driving solo in the carpool lane. He claimed the four frozen cadavers in the Mortuary van were riders. The judge ruled that passengers must be alive to qualify.
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